My name is Jacques Marais. I am a certified in sexological bodywork and an orgasm coach. I have been interested in sexuality my whole life and therefore quit my stressful job in finance to help people be more in touch with their bodies and sexual happiness. I am married, bisexual and live a polyamorous lifestyle. I also have meany years of experience with BDSM and specialise in orgasms. Yes, orgasms!
I like yoga, meditation and also brew my own beer at home.
As a somatic sexologist, I am passionate about understanding the way our sexuality shapes and defines us as human beings. Our sexuality forms the very core of us and I believe if we heal our sexual issues mindfully, we also heal other relevant aspects of our lives. A sexually empowered and confident person is also empowered and confident in other aspects of their lives. Many emotions are rooted in our sexual being.
My unique talent is in relation to orgasms. I am multi-orgasmic and psycholagnic. It means I can have an orgasm purely by thinking it, but also teach others how to do the same through breath, muscle exercises and focus–called Orgasmic Breathing. An orgasm is the way our bodies celebrate our pleasure and I believe it is our birthright. I have helped many people become more orgasmic and believe that it’s possible for anyone to learn.
I strongly believe in sexual consent, empowerment and freedom and therefore studied sexological bodywork as a way to bring these ideas to others. When we are free to state our boundaries, know what pleasure we want and become empowered to make changes to our lives, then we can move toward sexual happiness.
Own Your Pleasure
We cannot receive pleasure from others if we are not in touch with our bodies. When we learn to feel pleasure, we own our pleasure.
Most of us are not educated about how to experience more pleasure. We were not taught as children or as adults. The truth is that we can learn to feel more pleasure through exercises and focus, but need guidance to learn, which is the core of a somatic sexologist’s skills. Our medical professionals can heal us such that we no longer feel pain, but stop short when it comes to pleasure. We are taught that being functional is all that is required to be sexually satisfied, but well-being also includes feeling pleasure.
I believe we can unlock a much deeper understanding and wisdom within ourselves by experiencing more pleasure. But first we need to learn to feel into our bodies and feel pleasure to have fulfilling sex lives. And did I mention orgasms? Yes, orgasms!
Frequently Asked Questions
Sexological bodywork is somatic, erotic education that assists individuals, couples and groups to deepen their experience of embodiment. The teaching involves a variety of instructive modalities, including focusing, body education, breathwork, touch, erotic massage, pelvic bodywork, scar tissue remediation and coaching.
Sexological bodyworkers and somatic sexologists teach through body experiences and can include coaching in breath, movement, body awareness, boundary setting, communication, anatomy, sensate focus, massage, erotic trance and other body focused teachings. Uniquely in the professions, we are trained to do genital and anal touch for education, healing and pleasure. We touch in ways that assists people in developing presence within the body, opening interior awareness and learning to feel into the body.
Here’s an article with more detail about sexological bodywork
An orgasmic coaching session has a specific intention: to become more orgasmic. The coaching is mostly about learning to be more in touch with your orgasm through focus, practice and education. Each person is however different and therefore the required exercises needs to be first tailored to specific circumstances.
I specialise in orgasms specifically and therefore offer these session where you will learn the various methods and levels of orgasmic breathing and be more connected to your orgasm.
There are many reasons people see a sexological bodyworker, but the most common reasons are:
- Learn to feel into your body
- Enhance your sex life
- Feel more pleasure
- Inability to orgasm, have bigger orgasms or become multi-orgasmic
- Understanding anal pleasure
- Experiencing altered states
- Learning to give and receive pleasure
- Relief from pelvic pain
- Change bodily reactions, such as ejaculation control, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus etc.
- Recovering from sexual functioning after surgery, childbirth, accidents etc.
- Referral from a therapist
There are many benefits to receiving a session. These include:
- Be more in touch with your body
- Feel more pleasure
- Feel sexually satisfied
- Learn exercises to help with sexual well-being
- Be confident and empowered in everyday life
- Acceptance as a means toward healing
- Knowing what you desire
- A better sex life
- A better understanding of your body and sexuality
- Expansion of your sexual self
- Learn new ways to be sexual with your body
- Make better life choices by listening to your body
- Be more orgasmic
- Learn to be more sensual and intimate
- Learn about various sensual massage techniques
- Understanding your own boundaries and boundary setting
- Knowledge about how our nervous systems affect our lives
- Ejaculation choice
- Sexual exploration education
- Being sexual with a disability
- Let go of unwanted sexual habits or obsessions
- Breathing techniques that help us in our daily lives
- Healing from scars or wounds that affect you sexually
Nothing happens within a session without full consent and a learning objective in mind. Sessions are client led and the work done is co-created. This means that I will never tell you what to do, but we’d rather agree on any piece work before we start.
Firstly, I’d ask you fill out an intake form or arrange a quick call beforehand to understand your situation and needs.
Touch may or may not be included as part of the work in a session. I adhere to the professional Code of Conduct whereby I remain clothed, touch is one way. The client can however remain as clothed as they wish. If touch includes the genitals or anus, then I would wear gloves.
The professional Code of Conduct for a sexological bodyworker and somatic sexologist in the UK can be found through this link.
Not necessarily, but if there is a learning outcome and it is consensual, then it could include touch.
Touch could include genitals and sexological bodywork is one of the few profession which offer touch in combination with a learning intention.
Touch is however only one way, meaning you receive touch, but don’t give any. In a couples session you may however touch each other.
All conversations are strictly confidential. I will not share any of your data or anything you tell me within a session with anyone else.
Please see the link here for a full statement.
Embodiment is our ability to feel into and be with our bodies. It includes acceptance of the body, being able to notice the various sensations felt within and understanding how our body reacts in the moment. Interoception is the process of noticing the felt senses in our bodies. Somatic sexologists hence relate our sexuality to the body, not just the mind.
When we’re thinking about abstract thoughts while ignoring any sensations in our body, you could say we are not being embodied. Embodiment however relates to our ability to feel into our body when we choose to, not necessarily a permanent way of being.
I with with most people of any background with a few exceptions:
- I will not work with people who seek sexual services with no intention for learning
- If someone has severe trauma in their body, then I might discontinue the sessions refer them to other professionals
- I will not work with children without adult supervision and then it would only be with the intention of education
I also work with people with disabilities and will make every effort to do so where practically possible.
Many of us have scars due to accidents, surgery or child birth. These scars often heal in ways that we lose sensation in those areas and then can have wider impacts on inner organs and our ability to feel pleasure
Remediation includes massaging the scars and the application of oils that helps to break down tissue that prevent the cells from healing. Such treatment can often bring up certain emotions and can lead to powerful healing.
Not at all. You can be as clothed or as naked as you choose. Everything is accepted during a session. It’s all for you.
I will however remain clothed throughout.
No. I offer touch of a sexual nature if there is a learning intention. I do not offer touch for entertainment or sexual satisfaction. All touch is gloved and with the hands only.
Most probably. We would discuss what you could change or practice in your own time. Changing your life can take a lot time and is best done on your own. I would guide you through some of the somatic sexologist exercises that suit your intention.
It is therefore useful to do exercises on your own between sessions as part of learning and self practice, but is not necessarily required. Exercises could include breathing, focusing, noticing, self-care etc.
Go to the Contact and Booking page and fill in your details. Please include a quick overview of what you’d like to learn from the experience.
I will then e-mail you about a certain date and time that suits you with further details. A £50 deposit secures your booking and the full amount is payable 24 hours before the session.
I will also send you an intake form that I ask you to fill out before the session. This form will ask more detailed questions about what you’d like to get from the session and help me to help you.